Have you ever bought something for your child—not because they needed it, but because you felt bad? Maybe you missed a school play, yelled during a stressful morning, or had to work late again. That uncomfortable tug in your chest? That’s mum guilt. And often, our wallets pay the price for it.
You’re not alone—and you’re not a bad mum for feeling this way. Let’s talk about why this happens and how to break the cycle without sacrificing love or sanity.
What Is Mum Guilt, Really?
Mum guilt is that constant feeling that you’re not doing enough for your kids. Social media, parenting books, and well-meaning advice can make it feel like you’re failing if you’re not baking gluten-free muffins or signing them up for five extracurriculars.
To make up for the guilt, many mums overspend. A new toy here, a last-minute trip there, fancy clothes they’ll outgrow in two months… Sound familiar?
Why We Overspend
Here are some common reasons mums fall into the overspending trap:
- Trying to “buy back” time we can’t give.
- Feeling pressure to give our kids what others have.
- Mistaking stuff for love—because giving things feels like we’re doing something.
- Avoiding conflict—because saying “no” can feel like we’re being mean.
We tell ourselves, “It’s just a little treat,” but those little treats add up—and not just in pounds and pence. They can feed a cycle of guilt, spending, and stress.
The Hidden Cost of Overspending
Overspending can:
- Create financial stress (which feeds even more guilt).
- Set unrealistic expectations for your kids.
- Distract from what really matters—time, presence, connection.
Ironically, the more we spend trying to make up for guilt, the more we feel like we’re still falling short.
Good news is you don’t have to spend a heap to be a loving, generous mum. Try hitting pause before buying—ask yourself, “Do they really need this, or am I just feeling guilty?” Often, a walk, a cuddle or a game together means more than another toy. It’s okay to say “no”—kids might be upset, but boundaries are healthy. Chat to them about money in simple ways so they learn about saving and what’s a need vs a want. And go easy on yourself. You’re doing your best, and love isn’t about stuff—it’s in the little everyday.
Are you looking for some support in navigating motherhood? Check out more helpful resources from our blogs, join our FB group, follow us on Facebook and Instagram and connect with fellow mums and our team of financial experts ready to help you!
If you’re searching for a more comprehensive tool to help you manage your finances, we recommend checking out the MUM CFOs Money Masterclass course. This course offers a wealth of knowledge from financial professionals in various fields, including financial planning, credit repair, mortgages, accounting, investments, insurance and estate planning. By learning from their expertise, you will gain the tools and strategies necessary to achieve your financial goals. Don’t miss out on this valuable opportunity to enhance your financial literacy and take control of your finances!
