Have you always thought of yourself as a resilient person, one when the chips are down or fall to the canvas picks themselves up and carries on as if nothing has happened?

Pause for a moment… think if you really are that person or not or are somewhere in between. We all are somewhere on that scale of resilience and for those of us who are not naturally resilient, I believe it is a skill with a set of skills within it that you can learn over time to help you in those challenging times.

Some of the skills you need to develop are the ability to be self-aware of yourself i.e. your physical being, emotions and mindset. Simply pausing and paying attention to your body, feelings and mind and any given moment will help you develop this skill. Doing this several times a time will enable you over time to be more self-aware.

Also being mentally strong helps a lot to be more resilient. This is something that can also be developed over time through life experiences and taking the time out to reflect upon them especially those that mean that things didn’t go as planned or turn out the way you hoped, what I sometimes call the ‘knocks’ in life.

We all have situations in life such as the job interview that went really bad and you stumbled your way through it or conversely the job interview that went really well however for some reason you just didn’t get the job. Learning to take time out to reflect upon these ‘knocks’ in life, learning to accept that this is part of life and that you can do better next time will help you become mentally stronger. Also learning to lift yourself up and look at the positives of the situation when you take a ‘knock’ so you can improve for next time will help you deal better with any future ‘knocks’ in life that you have on your journey.

If you ever have a ‘crisis’ situation or what I call a serious ‘knock’ in life reach out for support and learn to communicate clearly what you need to others at this time. This is an important skill learning how to not only in dealing with it but also in helping you to get through at a pace that is right for you. This ensures that you deal with it appropriately but also gives you time to learn the lessons you need to learn from it so you come out the other side better equipped and builds your resilience.

You can also build your capacity to deal with the ‘knocks’ in your life through reading and online courses as well on communication, resilience skills and reading people’s stories of how they got through their tough times. In each book, you read or course is undertaken there may only be one key point or take away from it but it will be the takeaway that you may need at that time or use later on that builds your resilience.

There are so many components to being resilient and I have barely scratched the surface. I challenge all today to start your journey of becoming more resilient, researching it so you can find out more about how to be resilient and develop the skills you need to be a more resilient person than perhaps you are now. Learning one skill at a time slowly but surely and then moving onto the next skill and so on means eventually you will have the skills to be a resilient person and help others to become more resilient.


Melissa Griffiths is a transgender authority and advocates who lives in Melbourne. Melissa is also a diversity and inclusion consultant who has managed to get a gender identity policy introduced at various horse racing clubs including the BRC, MRC and VRC.

Melissa is a mistress of ceremonies and inspirational/keynote speaker as well as being a recipient of the Australia Day Achievement Award. She is also a director of Elder Rights Advocacy.

Melissa is a media commentator raising awareness about bullying, harassment, diversity, inclusion, and making workplaces more inclusive for transgender people.

Melissa was recently interviewed for the online TV show The Informer and for a channel nine online article about transgender kids. Melissa has also featured on  Studio 10 in 2017 and has also been interviewed on radio or for various podcasts. She has also been featured on the front cover of Sofya Style Magazine in the UK.

You can read more about Melissa on her website: www.melissagriffiths.com.au.