The word balance is often used to describe harmony in our lives. It is used in the context of balancing a career, partner, kids, hobbies etc. And usually, when I think about it, I get a tightrope followed by an “oh my gosh I’m gonna fall off”.
Being a mum comes with enough pressure to be perfect and judgement as everyone has their own way of how things “should” be done. In my opinion, trying to “balance” everything in your life creates an unattainable standard that can result in a feeling of failure.
Life as we know it ebbs and flows. It generally pulls you to be present in one aspect of life more than others.
Balance isn’t the right word. Priorities and patterns are where it is at!
The last thing you want is to have a successful business but lose your relationship when you can actually have it all. If you focus on these 5 key areas then I can almost guarantee you’ll achieve the “balance” you’re looking for.
PRIORITIES
- YOU
- Your relationship with your partner
- Your kids
- Your friends and family
- Your work/business
In my opinion, this is the order one should have in mind as they juggle life. It may vary from time to time but if you have to aim for an order – then this is it.
COMMUNICATE
Firstly, don’t make assumptions about what your partner is thinking or that your partner knows what you are doing or thinking. Have the conversation. Something I work with all my clients on is to set time aside on a weekly basis and have a chat about where you are both at in life, anything that is bothering you, anything you need support with and anything that the other person should be aware of. A huge part of this conversation is listening and it is important to listen to understand rather than listen to reply.
BOUNDARIES
Boundaries are so important in relationships and are your way of saying to someone this is where I begin and end and it is also the way to distinguish between work time, family time and me time. When you have boundaries, it is key to communicate and educate your partner on what they are. This is your responsibility to let the other person know what your boundaries are and if they have breached them and to respect your partner’s boundaries.
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE
The level of your emotional intelligence will directly correlate to the quality of your relationships. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify, manage and express one’s own emotions, as well as the ability to be able to understand, interpret and respond to the emotion of others. The reason this is so key is that often in relationships different people trigger us in different ways, when we get triggered we automatically respond in a certain way until we learn to manage those triggers and the emotions that are formed from them. Having higher emotional intelligence gives you the ability to manage your relationships better. The key here is to take time to understand you and your triggers and breathe.
MASCULINE AND FEMININE ENERGY
Women often fall into the space of living from their masculine and wanting to control and take ownership of everything. I often hear {if I didn’t do it, it would never get done” and if you hear yourself saying this then I want you to really check in with yourself around how comfortable you are letting go of control of things as the problem is when you live from your masculine predominantly you leave no space for your man to step up and take charge.
It takes time but you can shift the dynamic of responsibility, you don’t need to be in charge of everything, learn to hand it over and let things go if they are not done your way.
The key here is that life comes in waves and sometimes different things will require your attention more than others. The more that you can stay present, know that “this too shall pass” and implement the 5 tips above the smoother life will go. Oh, and throw out that word balance – unless you are on that tightrope.
How should you balance business and relationships? Visit MUM CFO’s blog for more.
Beck Thompson is an award-winning Relationship Coach, number 1 international best-selling author and the owner and founder of The Relationship Circle – a no BS relationship coaching that digs deep, gets to the truth and supports you in creating new behaviours and patterns that reenergise and revitalise your relationship as well as create resilience – reconnecting strong bonds that make you feel whole again.
