Do you and your partner have disagreements over money? Is your partner’s lack of money management frustrating you? Would you like to stop money issues from affecting your relationship?
Money can be one of the key areas of conflict in a relationship. Constant arguing and fighting over money, spending, lack of funds to pay the bills and to do what you want to do can have a detrimental impact on your relationship. Hence, it is important that as a couple you reach some agreements regarding money and money management.
Common Goals
Your priorities in life, in a relationship and about money can be similar or very different to that of your partner’s. Therefore, it is important that each of you is clear about your top five priorities in life and in a relationship, and to ensure that you both place a similar importance on money in those areas. Your priorities determine how you spend your time. So if you complain that your partner spends little time on managing money, paying bills or making financial decisions, perhaps your and your partner’s priorities around money are different.
As a couple, it is important that you are both on the same page when it comes to money, that you share the same money goals and that money is similarly important for you as a focus. Then together you can achieve your goals (eg. saving, investing, debt reduction, etc) more easily, and minimise disagreements over money.
Address Your Fears and Worries
You and your partner’s beliefs, fears and worries about money will affect how you manage money. For example, if you have a fear of losing the money you may make decisions regarding money based on that fear, and as a result, you will lose money. Likewise, if you and/or your partner are worried about money or being able to pay the bills, this will also increase your stress levels, and will become self-fulfilling through your behaviour. Instead, address any fears, worries and limiting beliefs around money to increase your financial success.
Different Habits
You and your partner may have different habits around money. For example, some people are spenders and seek instant gratification; they are spontaneous with their spending and tend to impulse buy. Other people are savers and plan for future gratification; they wait to get the rewards of their savings and are happy working towards medium and long term goals.
In addition, some partners are very organised when it comes to money; they know when bills are due, they diarise payment and have a system in place to keep on top of all money matters. Others are very disorganised; they may put off money matters and often can be late with paying bills.
Working Together
Observe each others’ behaviour in relation to money and notice your money habits. Are they different or the same? Then avoid forcing your partner to change (unless they wish to change their unwanted habits around money) or to be the same as you. This only leads to arguments, frustration and conflict.
Instead, agree to work with your strengths. For example, if your strength is to be a saver and you are organised, then you would be the best person to manage the payment of bills and your savings goals. If your strength is to be a spender, then perhaps your partner may be best to manage your finances as a couple once you both agree on a budget.
To create harmony around money with your partner, remember to:
1. Check and align your and your partner’s priorities around money.
2. Agree on common goals around finances that you can work towards together.
3. Address any fears, worries or limiting beliefs around money.
4. Work with each of your strengths when it comes to money habits and managing money day to day.
Then as a team, you can more easily and harmoniously empower each other to achieve your money and relationship goals.
Dr. Vesna Grubacevic is an author (of the Amazon best-selling book, Stop Sabotaging Your Confidence), speaker, media commentator, and the founder and Performance Transformation Expert® with a multi-award-winning company, Qt. She holds a PhD, a BEc and is passionate about helping professionals and individuals to improve their confidence, emotional and mental wellbeing and success. For more free resources please visit www.qttransformation.com
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